Kadang wonder jg, kenapa org bicara. Kalo prinsip komunikasinya sih agak kebayang, dasarnya, itu cuma salah satu cara buat menyampaikan pesan. tapi seberapa banyak orang yang tau pesan apa yang ingin disampaikan? belum lagi gimana cara menyampaikannya? plus emosi yang terlibat. atau kepikir gak ya kesan apa yang akan ditangkap oleh pihak penerima pesan? di dunia kerja mungkin banyak org yg bisa hidup dengan mengotak-ngatik masalah ini. Tapi di kehidupan sehari2? akhirnya, gak sedikit org tetep bingun di akhir percakapan. ya org yg ngomongnya, apalagi org yg ngedengerinnya. coba kita liat percakapan ini: A: "kita terusin obrolan kemaren" B: "boleh, obrolan yang mana ya?" A: "itu, tawaran kamu kemaren, kamu lupa ya?" B: "Iya, sorry kalo aku lupa, coba tolong ingetin" A: "tentang membahas masalahku" B: "oh.. ok, tinggal diatur aja waktu & tempatnya" A: "Ah kamu kayaknya udah gak inget. gak jadi aja" B: "lah??" ato yang ini: X: "aku sebel sama kakakku, marah2 terus" Y: "mungkin maksudnya baik" X: "tapi kan gak usah gitu, dia mustinya tau situasinya" Y: "ya udah.. sabar aja" X: "ini lah, itu lah, ada aja yang blm beres, dia kan tau kalo aku kan gak bisa kemana2" Y: (nyoba ganti strategi) "oh gitu, kakak mu jahat juga ya, sampe nyakitin kamu kayak gitu" X: "gak, kakak gak jahat, dia itu sebenernya baek, cuma cara nya itu" Y: "oh jadi kakakmu itu gak jahat ya" (dalam hati, gimana sih?) "jadi gimana dong?" X: "tau ah!!" Y: "loh?" ato satu kalimat seperti: S: "kamu sekarang berubah. aku kecewa" T: "..." (dalam hati, how dare you? judging me based your own limited-informations' perception) rupanya hal yang gak enak, selain menunggu, adalah mendapatkan percakapan yang dihentikan sepihak. asli, gak enak banget. padahal kalo dari awal gak dibahas, energy kita kan bisa buat yg laen. kalo kejadian ini ada di org lain, gampang sekali membahasnya. tapi kalo terjadi sama kita sendiri? boro-boro, yg ada kesel gak jelas. komunikasi emang sangat menarik (baca: ngeselin). no wonder kalo banyak org yg konflik. mungkin sebagian besar krn cara komunikasinya, bukan karena materi pertengkarannya. dan emosinya itu lho.. hm.. oh.. pls... aku pengen marah, aku kesel, kalo udah diajak ngobrol, tapi diberhentikan sepihak. walaupun itu mungkin tanda dari kekurang mampuanku berkomunikasi juga. emang gak semua bahasan, perlu ditanggapi untuk menghasilkan solusi. mungkin sebagian cuma katarsis doang (maen tinju aje, jgn ngajak ngobrol gue! hehe) apa perlu bicara kalo akhirnya pesannya gak sampai & malah memberi kesan yang berbeda? Sabar... sabar.... (sambil tetep gondok)

Vole vole petite aile Ma douce, mon hirondelle Va t'en loin, va t'en sereine Qu'ici rien ne te retienne Rejoins le ciel et l'ether Laisse-nous laisse la terre Quitte manteau de misere Change d'univers Vole vole petite soeur Vole mon ange, ma douleur Quitte ton corps et nous laisse Qu'enfin ta souffrance cesse Va rejoindre l'autre rive Celle des fleurs et des rires Celle que tu voulais tant Ta vie d'enfant Vole vole mon amour Puisque le notre est trop lourd Puisque rien ne te soulage Vole a ton dernier voyage Lache tes heures epuisees Vole, tu l'as pas vole Deviens souffle, sois colombe Pour t'envoler Vole, vole petite flamme Vole mon ange, mon ame Quitte ta peau de misere Va retrouver la lumiere (Vole, Celine Dion) Fly fly little wing Fly fly little flame Leave your misery's skin To finally stop the pain Leave misery's coat Change of universe

I heard a story,
it's about a wife, a husband, and another woman.

One day, somehow, the wife found some pictures of her husband with another woman.
The wife made a personal account in one of the most famous social site in internet, using the other woman's name. She told about the sort story and hypothesis about how the other woman know and close with her husband, completed with the pictures and comments about it. The comments could tell us how angry she is, of even resentful, and that it's an ongoing process that still will going on for sometime in the the future. It is not over! not yet. then she added all people who could be connected with the other woman, especially people who put the same college's name. I guess she wants to make sure that 'the world' know what the other woman did to her family.

this is just one story that remind me to the all same stories. and it's interesting to see that almost all in the wife position do the same thing, put all the sin to the other woman/man. Like there's a rule that say that "The evil is always the 3rd party". And the somehow 'legitimate' spouse do, is trying to push her/him away from his/her family.

If the 3rd party 'succeed', then we could hear things like: "She TOOK somebody Else's husband", or "He TOOK someone's wife". What is he/she? a briefcase? or some cow that can be taken against his/her will? c'mon...

Could anybody take somebody's wife or husband without their will? If it's a kidnapping i think they could be. but, a marriage? an affair? or even an adultery? if it's done by force, then we're talking about criminality, but this? c'mon...

WHAT IF the spouse what it to be with somebody else then his/her partner? don't you think that it's a very possible situation? Even we could push the 3rd party away, WHAT IF our partner don't want to be with us anymore? Can you imagine to live with somebody who doesn't want to be with you, even for the children? so there always be a chance to get another 3rd party anytime? Can you still call it A MARRIAGE?

Now tell me, who's the evil?
I'm sure that there will always be an explanation of what they're doing. and i believe that people always try to choose the best choices for their selves. even it is wrong to be for other people, or they regret it in the future. But at that very moment, we are all try to choose the best for our selves.

I could not judge people, but in this situation i really want to make a judgmental opinion (though it could means that i also judge my self in some unconscious level). For me, the GATE of this situation is THE CHEATER. He or She is the one that i want to blame first though it could be a systematic un-blamable situation. But still, they're the gate. The 3rd parties just the guests, who could not in if the GATE is closed, unless by force. But of course i realize that the GATE could also get overheated, so it just easily open when the room are too hot and the outside will be perceived as a much better alternative situation.

But of course, in a marriage, make sure that the GATE should be separated, before it open for another.

Goodluck with your marriage..
and mine too ;)

it is interesting to see what's behind a word, a term, a sentence.
it doesn't mean that we are right,
but it's even interesting just trying to figure it right.

challenging our own thoughts, perhaps.
or just feeling smart for our selves.
or touching the surface of 'knowing'.

wondering, imagining..

just like what i just had when i took a glance in some blogs.
it is interesting..

when we read it, we could almost always see..
how special they are, how wise, how crazy,
how smart, how hurt, how experience or expert,
or even how simple and ordinary they are.

perhaps we are fighting for our own existences, in our own way.
in our own world. in our own mind.
I think, I've BEEN or STILL in those feelings or self concept too, sometimes.
it's also not a bad thing, i think. or it could be, maybe, in some situation.

but..
then i also see in reality (whether i want to, or somebody make me to),
that I'm not as smart as i usually think i am.
I don't have enough confident to be that crazy.
I'm not even close to any wisdom soul mostly.
I'm not as special as i want me to be.
I'm too happy to cry my sorrow.
too static to be an expert.
or too complicated to be simple and ordinary.

but i agree that those thoughts feel right sometimes.
that we are what we think or we want to be, or we thought we are.

inconsistency, or.. in positive way, our rich feelings and thoughts.

that's also what i see in me, and in people sometimes.
maybe the loneliness or my negative state that makes too critical to see.
but it could be true. as it could be not too.
anyway, it makes me smile.... :) that we are so.. human.

don't be afraid to be somebody else.
i mean.. if we are not as we thought we are. there is no real 'have to be'.
or we feel uncomfortable when we see a stranger in a mirror.
perhaps, it's just another part of us.

we are, who we are. just as human as we can be.
no matter how high or low our capacity and potentiality.
existence could also be just a mind game. a contextual term.
but i think, we exist as we are, no matter what.
this is the beauty (or could also be the bad) of being human.

Sesungguhnya aku kangen kamu Dimana dirimu aku ngga ngerti Dengarkanlah kau tetap terindah Meski tak mungkin bersatu Kau slalu ada di langkahku (Kahitna: enggak ngerti)

Kau pernah menyayanginya melebihi dirimu mendengarkan apa yang diinginkannya melakukan apa yang dikatakanya tapi itu dulu, ketika Ia pun ada untukmu Lalu Ia tak lagi menyentuhmu memalingkan dirinya dari rengkuhmu menyatakan pikirannya untuk menduamu ketika kau tau Ia tak lagi ada untukmu Kini sakitmu menghilangkan rasamu meninggalkan Ia yang dulu milikmu Kini hanya dirimu dan buah cintamu meninggalkannya hanyalah masalah waktu Kau pernah kehilangan kekuatanmu untuknya mengubur mimpimu untuk mendukung mimpinya kehilangan suaramu demi dirinya menyusun kembali dirimu kini, hanya masalah waktu

Sejak Ia tak bisa bersamamu kau kehilangan rasa hidupmu kehilangan keyakinanmu bahwa cinta itu ada dan bisa menghasilkan kebaikan dan keindahan Sejak itu hanya ada dirimu dan mereka mereka tidak layak bahagia karena kau tidak bahkan seolah mereka harus bertanggung jawab atas penderitaan dan ketidak-bahagiaanmu Kau telah mati bersama harapan kasihmu kini kau hidup dengan penderitaanmu memastikan penderitaan ini juga milik mereka agar semua tau apa yang kau rasakan Sejak saat itu kau benci hidupmu kau benci dirimu sendiri yang tak bisa mendapatkannya dan kau berusaha bertahan dengan membenci mereka meski tak pernah bisa kau pungkiri, kesedihanmu sendiri

It's an Opposite Attractiveness… Hm… could be Interesting to a different thing a very logic and simple idea not to hard to understand, or to think that we understand But still.. It's funny when their love and care be something that hurt or troubled me sometimes So, I hear love every day, many times, when I feel hurt or troubled hehehe really funny messing around my structure with their spontaneity and moody tendency And vice versa even my independent could be very torturing for them though it one of my strong point a colder heart I could be for them, it's makes my logical thinking work better though C'est la vie, la belle vida guess, we both just try to be natural well.. I believe that life has its own way it's been written all the time Then perhaps we all could just smile it could be HIS joke in some ways a funny challenge if we watch our own scenes In general, I believe Life could be a very sadness reality but could also a full of gratitude Guess I should just smile and try to enjoy this differences that could troubled me, hm.. Challenge my maturity And by the way, I love you too though I think u should know that if u really know me and I know you do too through this challenges u give me everyday shall we be wiser day by day

Kau mengatakan apa yang seharusnya aku lakukan Kau memilihkan apa yang seharusnya aku kenakan Kau selalu tau apa yang seharusnya.. Kau mengajarkan bagaimana seharusnya aku bersikap Kau nyatakan bagaimana seharusnya aku berpikir Kau selalu tau apa yang seharusnya Tapi itu bukan untukku aku hanyalah diriku dengan segala kelemahan dan kekuranganku dengan segala kemandirian dan kebodohanku Kau nyatakan apa yang seharusnya aku sampaikan Kau sampaikan apa yang seharusnya aku jalani T api aku hanyalah diriku meski bukan seperti apa yang seharusnya untukmu (buat yg lagi nyari inspirasi)

Have u ever been angry?
what about lately?

What did u do?
and What do u do when you are angry?

How do you know if you're angry?
you do know when you're angry, don't u?
do u?

well, unfortunately, sometimes, some people don't realize it.
or sometimes, it was too late, to realize.

what makes you angry?
what people did to you?
you do know the reason, don't u?
do u?

well.. i hope u do.
but just in case u don't, i'll tell u my opinion.

u're angry, becase u're hurt.
well..  i know i do.

but then how do u express it?
what do u do?

no matter what  you do,  when you're hurt, u'll try to make 'somebody' hurt too.
well, could be someone, or something, or even your self.
but the ground rule of being hurt is, somebody (or something) should get suffer.

hm.. seems not like a wise rule, i agree.
but if we're trying to talk about reality... perhaps it's right, somehow, or in some points.

Now let's see some moments that u've been hurt..
what did anybody do that makes you hurt?
and what did you do to make somebody or something get hurt?

have somebody ever teach you how to get angry?
well.. i don't remember any.
all i know, that people will tell somebody else that i'm angry, if i do some actions with some kind of expressions.
i understand now, that i was so angry, when my parents lied to me, when i was a young boy. but that time, i think i don't know what it is, and i don't know how to express it, accept in an 'unhealthy' way, or even dangerous, sometimes.
i'm sure, i was quite frustrated too..

What if i knew it. could it make any different?
well, i believe so, at least i would for the grownups.

do u know what parents do when their child 'almost' get hit by a car? their angry.
yes they were so worry, and grateful becase the child was alive. but still, that time they show an angry even mad expression to the child, which lead to the child's scare, guilty, affraid, shock, frustrated, and again somehow, angry.

so don't, don't make me angry. i'm sure u don't wanna be there when i'm angry.
in fact, don't make anybody angry, not even your children or sub-ordinates. make them understand.
communicate with them, what makes you feel uncomfortable.
let's stop this 'game'.

Next time you're angry, make sure that u aware about it. and find a 'healthy' way to express it, that would make the other one understand better.

remember, the expressions of the angry people is a message of being hurt. understand it, so u won't get angry, at least not 'that' strong. and u could prevent from hurting other because of that.

so, DON'T BE ANGRY!
and find another way to express it.